I’m getting whiplash from my own mood-swings the past few days. It’s SOOOO much worse this time around than it was with JD. I’m happy then angry in 2.2 seconds flat, and the anger it out of control. Everything is setting me off. The room not being clean, something left out in the bathroom, someone looking at me sideways. You name it, it’s ticking me off. I am sure those that don’t know I’m pregnant are running for the hills thinking I’ve lost my mind for sure. I really just want to scream and cry to everyone that I’m pregnant so maybe they won’t hate me but we’ve decided to wait as long as possible to tell anyone. I also have to force myself to eat, since nothing sounds good at all and I am getting morning sickness worse because of the lack of food I’m eating.
I’m getting anxious about the Doctor on Tuesday. I am taking all the pregnancy symptoms I am getting worse and worse as a good sign but until I see a heartbeat I won’t believe I’m really pregnant and not going to miscarry. Lets not kid ourselves, I probably won’t believe it until after the first trimester.
There is another part of me that is so very excited now. JD will be a big brother and if everything goes well we’ll have a little bundle in our arms by Christmas. I got rid of almost ALL of my maternity clothes because I wasn’t ever going to be pregnant (so dumb) so last night I hit the clearance racks at Target and found some really cute tops. I know some of them will work the entire pregnancy but a couple are just to hide any hint of pregnancy until we tell people. They were all under 7 bucks (wahoo). The perk to being chubby to begin with is that people will probably just think I’m getting fatter… if you want to call that a perk. I would have been easier to hide it pre-breast reduction. I already have one pair of school/work pants that I can’t button up without causing discomfort. Let the good times roll.
